The Problem With Squats

duckwalks

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love working out. It’s my passion, something I look forward to. Helping other people discover the awesomeness of fitness is what I want to do with my life. But there are some drawbacks. For example, here are some problems you might encounter if you squat, especially with weight:

1. Guys will forget about all of your other incredible attributes. Got a great sense of humor? Better make the jokes about your assets or he’s not listening. Wicked smart? Better turn the chit chat into the physiology of padunkadunks or you’ve lost him. What can I say? Guys lose focus quickly when you’ve got junk in the trunk.

2. You will never find a pair of pants, especially jeans, that fit. When you find jeans that are generous enough to accommodate your strong thighs, I can guarantee that you will have a gap in the waistband. I don’t think I’ve bought pants in over three years that my seamstress, aka my mom, didn’t have to alter.

3. The sight of your muscular glutes and quads will make guys dumb. No, seriously, they will say things like “if we got stranded somewhere I could eat off your ass for weeks”. Really? Is that supposed to be a turn on? Yeah, not quite the panty dropper they were shooting for.

4. You will have to give up smiling if you want people to believe you. What? You know you can “never trust a big butt and a smile”.

So, the big question is what you gonna do with all that ass? I can tell you what I’m going to do with mine – keep on squatting. The heavier the weight, the better.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robyn Crawford
    May 06, 2014 @ 12:03:56

    Love it! This was exactly what I needed after today’s workout! Must admit, I’m beginning to enjoy the stares at my derriere! Something’s finally working! Drop it like it’s hot!

    Reply

    • amydfab
      May 06, 2014 @ 20:38:33

      Robyn – I totally should have used “drop it like it’s hot”! Dang, I missed out! Sounds like you’re getting some well deserved attention. You are working it, girl!

      Reply

  2. UnSuperSized by Zen Fitness
    May 06, 2014 @ 12:41:26

    Hilarious!! The only jeans that work for me are “apple bottom” of j-lo’s jeans. Good thing I can squat 245! Lol lol lol

    Reply

    • amydfab
      May 06, 2014 @ 20:37:30

      Tracy – 245 is awesome!! I’m still working up. 🙂 I’ll have to look into apple bottom jeans. I don’t know if I can get them though because I’d constantly have the song in my bed and I’d have to get low, low, low, low…

      Reply

  3. Michelle L.
    May 09, 2014 @ 03:03:02

    I’m glad I’m not the only one with this issue! Most of the other women at my CrossFit box are trim all over. Me, I’m turning years of bulk-building into solid thighs and glutes that aren’t going to be much smaller than they are now. Which is fine, except for jeans shopping. Thankfully, my spare tire around the middle is still there so that helps with keeping pants up, but I’m hoping after another 7 months of CF that it’ll be gone and I’ll have alteration problems. 😉 (It’s a bit demoralizing, though, to step on a scale and not see any weight loss after 7 months of hard work and still having to shop for jeans in the plus-size section just to get them over thighs of steel…)

    Reply

    • amydfab
      May 09, 2014 @ 03:07:02

      Michelle L. – You should be so proud of yourself for knowing that results are happening even if the scale isn’t moving! Apparently, they are making a brand of jeans just for us generous thighed women called Barbell (http://www.barbellapparel.com/). It’s in the kickstarted stage now, but hopefully in a few months we can give them a go. Keep working hard and be proud of yourself!

      Reply

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